I know they say that every choice you make brings you to be the person you are and that you should never have any regrets, but it's hard for me to agree with that. Looking back, I've made some horrible decisions, and they won't scar me or torment me, but they will follow me for a very long time. And by "they," I'm referring to the insane amount of student loan debt I've racked up to get this Advertising degree I hold so dear. Stupid.
Had I stayed in state instead of going to Alabama my freshman year, I probably wouldn't be in this predicament. My parents saved for me; they worked hard for me so I could avoid this, and I blew it all in one year. It honestly makes me sick to think about, but what's done is done. I wouldn't say that I regret going to Alabama, because I enjoyed it, but seeing where I am now, would I go back and do it the same?
Never.
In high school, they tell you that going to college and getting your education is the most important thing. They make it seem like there is no other way, no other path. You'll be a loser and you will get nowhere if you don't in some way continue your education immediately. And I bought into it.
It's ridiculous. First of all, there are plenty of jobs out there that don't require a degree. And also, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere (great fact checking, Vanessa. Really, TOP NOTCH) that 80% of jobs available to graduates don't actually need a degree. That sounds insane, but I believe it. Whatever happened to on the job training or learning as you go?
I thought I had to go to school. I had to make a decision. I had to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I had to figure it out so I could study it, get a degree, and find a job. But I had NO idea what I wanted to do, so I picked something that I thought I would be interested in. Something that I thought I could do. Something that played up to my strengths and something I wouldn't hate. So I picked Advertising.
The amount of times I changed my mind or thought about doing something else was unimaginable. Off the top of my head, I can remember thinking about studying English, Journalism, Public Relations, Law. Me a lawyer? As if.
But the bottom line is: I had no idea. And I didn't have any idea for a long, long time. Now that I do actually have an idea, it's too late. When I started to have an idea, it was too late. I was so deep into everything, that it would have been completely asinine to drop out of college or change my major or transfer again.
I kept telling myself, "Get the degree. Just get the piece of paper. Don't quit now and have nothing to show for all of this but a mountain of debt. Just get the degree."
So I did. Assuming I pass my classes this semester.
Don't get me wrong, I like my industry. I'm good in my industry. I'm comfortable.
I'm skeptical to say that my passion lies somewhere else - still trying to get a job and all. Also because, like I said, I do like it.
My passion might just be in a slightly different area of my industry. Film. Every year, I put together a movie of our family beach trip, and I love it. I'm not sure why it took me this long to figure it out, but I guess I'm just glad I did.
So, the main point of this post is that we put way too much stock in going to college. I feel like a hypocrite for saying that when I have my shiny new degree (that will probably take about five months for UGA to send me and thirty years to pay off), but I really do believe it. I honestly wish I had just waited until I figured it out, or a least waited a little while to have a better understanding of myself. Five years ago, I graduated from high school, and that person and the person I am now seem like two totally different people. How was 18-year-old me supposed to make a decision about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? We are putting way too much pressure on 18, 19, 20-year-olds to figure that out.
I just want to say thank you to anyone that has ever been there for me. Anyone that has ever encouraged me. Some of you may not even know it, but I appreciate every one of you. And if you're here reading this, a very, very special thank you, because I know most people won't read this at all.
And thank you to Hailey Devine. I've followed her on Instagram for a while, but I never really knew what she did - she just posted cool photos and video snippets all the time. So one day I decided to go to her blog, and I found out she's a videographer. She gets paid to film and put together movies for people and companies. I didn't even know that was what it was called, but I'm pretty sure that is the coolest job on the face of the planet, and it's something I'd like to do one day.
And finally, thank you to Jana. You probably don't even remember when you told me you thought I should be studying film editing, but I sure do, and it really means a lot.
I may be done with school, but I'm not done learning.
XOXO Ness
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