To My Friends, All 4 of You

I don’t have a ton of friends. It used to bother me, but I've realized the friends I do have are forever, so I've made my peace with it. I’ve always said that I’d rather have a few great friends than a bunch of so-so friends, and that's what I have.

But I’ve never really thought about why I don’t have many friends, but it came to me when I gave it a few minutes. Just like I don’t like to call people because I feel like I’m interrupting them, I don’t like to ask people to hang out or do things with me because I feel like I’m bothering them. I feel like they have better things to do.

The friends I have now are the ones that never stopped trying. They’re the ones that wouldn’t ever leave me alone. They’re the ones who constantly asked me to hang out. They’re the ones that text me all the time or comment on everything on my Facebook or Tweet me all the time. They never gave up on me.

Just thinking about it gives me all the feels.

I don’t like to ask people to do things with me because I’m afraid that they won't want to and that I’m wasting their time. I don’t want to make people hang out with me.

So the people I have in my life are the ones who have worked hard and carved a special place in my heart.

It's true, I might have made them work a little too hard, and I'm sorry for that.

Some people may just think I’m lazy and put in no effort or I’m just a bitch, but this is the truth. When I first meet people, it takes me a LONG time to get comfortable around them. I’m not going to contact you because I don’t want to bother you.

It’s not that I don’t like you. It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with you. I’m not ignoring you. I don’t think I’m too good for you.

I’m just a little insecure and a little insane and I don’t want to bug you. I don’t always understand what the appeal to me is or why anyone would want to spend time with me because I’m not that great. Seriously, I really don't get it. 

So to my friends – I hope you know who you are, I love you guys. More than you know. Thank you for never giving up on me.

XOXO, Ness

And since it's SPRING! Some flowers!